July 26, 2014

Last updated on January 19, 2026

I considered deleting all these old posts, but I hope that my transparency will be of help or inspiration to someone going through what I did.

Thank god my life is so much better now. I am better too.

I sit broken, Looking for direction, Feeling alone. I know this is my life but my life was meant to be shared, not hoarded and kept to myself.
I’m learning a lot about myself in this process. Being separated from my husband (soon ex-husband) has a caused me to look inside.
Ive learned that I have a kind, gracious heart. Last night our son played a show in town. I had a strong desire to send “Dad” a video of some of the songs they played. I had to remind myself that he has made no effort nor any attempts to contact his children since he left more then 3 weeks ago.
I learned that I believe in people, Even when they aren’t exhibiting very good character qualities. I told our son that one of the hardest things for me to “get-over” is his lack of concern for the children. Our son said, “Mom, did you really expect anything different?” I said, “Yes, son, I did. I had confidence in him.” He said, “Not me. I lost all confidence in that guy.”
I’ve also learned that even though I have no desire to remain married to this man. There is still a “letting go” process. I have to let go of my strong desire to see him stay in contact with our children.
There are so many things out of my control. I have to let go of all of them.
I’ve learned that I do not like to be alone. I miss adult companionship.
I learned I can chug 2 beers, have a public melt-down, and get myself back together all within 60 seconds.
I’ve learned that I am not done learning.