Category: Trauma & Recovery

I can write whenever 

I can write whenever 

July 2014

When I’m angry, I can write.

When I’m sad, I can write.

I can write when I’m overflowing with happiness.

I can write most of the time,

except when I am numb.

Today, even yesterday, I’m feeling numb. Don’t mistake me as being depressed or so hurt that I can’t go on without him. Oh contrary! I’m numb with exhaustion. I’m finally able to relax and have peace. I am now Head of Household. Everyone is looking to me to have their needs met. I can do this. It will take me a few weeks to adjust, but I will. In the meantime, tiny bursts of inspiration get jotted in my notes to complete on another day.

The Edge

The Edge

July 2014

Today marks the first day of the rest of my life. I have been in an abusive relationship for over 24 years. 4 years ago, I had the courage to call the police and file a restraining order. He changed a lot. But not completely. I made excuses for him over and over, and even today. As history repeats itself, I had to call the police again today so he would leave. This time is different. This time, I am not afraid to venture out on my own. Today, I officially enter the realm of single-mom-hood. Wish me well.

You pushed me to the edge
Of where I was afraid to jump
You pushed me further off the ledge
My fears I was forced to confront

I took the plunge with shaking courage
Not for me but for the kids
For the kids I stayed in marriage
Entangled in insanities bondage

Now I spread my wings to fly
No longer held in prison bars
Anxious to soar towards the sky
Soon to be amongst the stars