If something happened that left you shaky, ashamed, exposed, or suddenly doubting yourself, I want you to know this:
What you’re feeling is real. And it makes sense.
Most people have no idea what humiliation actually does to a person. They think it’s “just embarrassment.” They think you should shrug it off. But humiliation is a psychological wound. It hits the same part of your brain that reacts to physical pain. It knocks your confidence, your voice, and sometimes your sense of self out from under you.
And if no one ever taught you how to deal with this kind of emotional blow, you might be blaming yourself for a wound you never deserved.
Let’s walk through this slowly, in a way that makes space for your pain and gives you a way forward.
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1. Something painful happened — you didn’t imagine it
Someone cut you down.
Someone used their words, tone, or power to make you feel small.
Someone spoke to you in a way that pierced straight through your dignity.
You weren’t “overreacting.”
You weren’t “too sensitive.”
You were caught off guard by a moment that should not have happened.
Humiliation exposes the person who delivered it — not the person who received it.
—
> “A painful moment happened to me. It does not define me.”
—
2. Your body responded because humiliation is a body-level injury
Most people don’t talk about this part, but humiliation hits the body first:
Your throat closes.
Your stomach flips.
Your face gets hot.
Your mind blanks out.
Your chest tightens.
This is your nervous system trying to protect you.
It doesn’t mean you’re weak.
It means you’re human.
Before you try to make sense of anything, let your body settle.
Try this:
Drop your shoulders
Loosen your jaw
Place your hand on your chest
Slow your exhale
Whisper, “I’m safe enough right now.”
You cannot think clearly in a body that feels attacked.
—
3. The wound came from the story your mind created afterward
There’s the event itself…
and then there’s the meaning your mind wrapped around it.
Humiliation tries to whisper things like:
“Everyone saw.”
“You looked foolish.”
“You should’ve known better.”
“They were right about you.”
But those thoughts aren’t truth.
They’re the bruise talking.
Say this gently: “The story I told myself was…”
Name it so it stops running the show in the dark.
—
4. Humiliation makes you want to hide — but hiding keeps the wound open
After you’re hurt like this, the instinct to disappear is strong.
You avoid eye contact, replay the moment, pull your energy inward.
You shrink as if shrinking will protect you.
But hiding is exactly what keeps the wound tender.
You don’t have to tell the whole story.
Just start with one simple sentence:
“Something happened that made me feel small.”
Speaking it breaks the isolation humiliation depends on.
—
5. Reclaim your authority over what the moment meant
When someone cuts you down, their voice can become louder in your head than your own.
But your dignity is still yours.
Say: “I get to decide what this means.”
Not them.
Not the moment.
Not the fear that followed.
You.
Every time you say it, something inside you stands a little straighter.
—
6. Give yourself what you needed in that moment
Ask yourself: “What did I need right then?”
Respect?
Understanding?
Protection?
Someone to step in?
Someone to say, “That wasn’t okay”?
Now ask: “How can I give even a small piece of that to myself now?”
This is what begins to repair the psychological wound.
—
Here’s the truth I want you to carry with you
You are not the smallness someone tried to put on you.
You are not the version of yourself their words tried to create.
You are not the moment that knocked your voice out of your chest.
You were wounded.
And wounded people don’t need shame — they need understanding, space, and a way back to themselves.
This is that way back.
Yoli's Write To Sanity 