Category: Poetry

Stabbing Words

verbal abuse is more harmful than physical abuse

Your words are like stab wounds
Penetrating deeply
As warm blood gently spills
Out into ink
A stab to the arm
No longer able to hold you
Or my babies
A stab to the neck
Where your kisses used to fall
A stab to the leg
So I can no longer run
Run away from you
A stab to my stomach
Where I had this gut feeling
That all of the past would
Eventually come back to haunt
A stab to the chest
I can no longer breathe
A stab to the heart
No more love to be felt
Multiple stab wounds from
Multiple words have left me
Writhing in pain and despair
Breathless and speechless
And no longer a care

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Being vulnerable 

originally written from a Word Prompt…. A few months before my separation in 2014

I penned my heart and soul to you. 

 You grind your teeth and sneer. 

I wrote of love, devotion and friendship. 

You rolled your eyes as you crumpled my paper. 

I poured out my deepest feelings. 

You trampled them to ashes. 

It was 13 years ago yet I remember each detail vividly. 

I stopped writing because of you. 

I recently started writing again, because of you. 

Because of all the pain you caused my bleeding heart. 

Finally I could release my anger, pain, bitterness, fear and resentment. 

I faced them. 

 I faced you. 

You no longer scare me. 

But to share my writings with you leaves me open and vulnerable. 

Why? 

Do I value your opinion that much? 

I guess I do. 

 I want to trust you with my heart. 

 I want to open up. 

But I don’t want to feel so vulnerable or fall prey to your criticism. 

All I seek is your approval and value. 

I need to continue to remember that I am valued and approved by the One higher then you. 

Am I willing to risk being vulnerable to you? 

I want to,
I want to take that risk. 

I am scared. 

I am extremely protective of my heart. 

Maybe with little baby steps I can take the risk and allow myself to be vulnerable. 

 

Vulnerability – Don Charisma’s Prompt http://doncharisma.org/2014/05/07/vulnerability-don-charisma-s-prompt/

To the Trees

To the trees I will sing
To the trees I will scream
You will not see you affecting me

I will sing of love that’s lost
I will scream of what you cost
You will not hear me sing of love to thee

To the trees I will sing
To the trees I will scream
You will not see you affecting me

You will not see you affecting me

I will sing of darkness lit
I will scream of how hard this hit
You will not hear me screaming for you

To the trees I will sing
To the trees I will scream
You will not see you affecting me

You will not see you affecting me
You will not see you afflicting me

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The Conjuring 

This is what it feels like or looks like living with an abuser

The conjuring

All around you they fly
The Demons of your head
To Torment and divide you
Telling you what to think
If you listen you will sink
Turn them down
They’re screaming your name
On your fear they feast
The Demons of your head

I can call them by name
Counting them one at a time
They came to greet me
The demons of your head

They’re flying at me
To torment and divide me
Telling me what to think
If I listen I will sink
Trying to turn them down
As they scream my name
Feasting on my fear
The demons of your head

Your demons are in my head
Flying all around
Tormenting and telling me
What to think
They’re screaming my name
I think I might sink
Your demons are screaming my name

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The past

2014

The past does not define me
But it brought me to this place
Scaring the shit out of me
Making my heart race

The past does not define me
But made me who I am
A broken winged birdie
Flightless, God damn.

The past does not define me
It shows me where I’m at
In prison bars entrapped
A raving insomniac

The past does not define me
But it sure created my life
This life I’ve invested
Paying a great price

The past does not define me
But it sure created my life

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You’re going to make it

Your gonna make it thru

You may not truely understand
Why you’ve faced such sorrows
Those times have felt like quicksand
Like there’s no tomorrow

Every time you faced a tragedy
You found it hard to grow
When surrounded by depravity
You said its time to go

You have more going for you
More than you really know
Your a person of great value
A friend not a foe

You’re going to make it thru this
It’s going to be ok
An end to this sorrow
An end to your dismay

You’re going to make it through this
It’s going to be ok

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