I have decided that I will just go ahead and have cry-baby break down.. In the court room. I know when I see my son I’m going to want to cry and weep and wail and even scream but instead I’ll just let the depression and the sadness and the months of darkness take over. I’ll let them have their way… I will let the tears flow. I will cry and not hold back. So this is my official, mental note to myself,  to buy some fucking Kleenex … because I am going to need it.