I thought that leaving an abusive marriage after 24 years was hard. Even more difficult was when their father refused to reply to the children’s texts. But last week threw me a curve ball. The hardest thing I have yet to face. The words I heard coming out of my daughters lips. Never did I ever imagine it could or would happen to my family. I knew what I had to do. I knew what the right thing was, but that doesn’t make it any easier. Just because it’s right, Doesn’t make it easy. I had to make the call. I had to tell them what I knew and what I’ve been told.
Here I am, newly single mom, sole-provider… Financially, emotionally and any other “ly” necessary. Here I am trying to be strong, yet so broken. I don’t remember the last night I remained sober. Some things you just don’t want to think about or remember. I have to be strong for my daughter, but yet I know in my heart this means I have lost a son. The pain of knowing the truth isn’t as hard as the pain of the precious memories I have.
I thought about Going to get on antidepressants… But I’m already numb, I already sleep well from mental and physical exhaustion… I don’t need anything that’ll suppress the sex drive… That’s my only release! Oh … To be able to start life over, wouldn’t that be grand?
Yoli's Write To Sanity 